#F1 Bahrain Grand Prix 2010

Oh no. Is that really what I’ve been waiting for all winter? Can we just give the title to Alonso now please, and not have to sit through another 40 hours of that mindless tedium?

Ever since refuelling was introduced I’ve been convinced it should be banned. It’s too dangerous, and it artificially splits the race into 3 sprints. It didn’t reward the intelligent smooth driver. Trouble is, now we have heavy cars and no-one dares risk ruining their tyres; result: over-caution. Finishing the race on fumes but still 5 seconds off qualifying pace? At that rate surely it’s worth pitting for fresh rubber 7 laps from the end, and shooting past everyone (Spa 08 style)?

Where were the promised 1.8 second pit stops? Even Red Bull took at least 4 seconds, and as for Virgin they may as well have changed the oil too, they were so slow.

McLaren seem hopelessly outpaced by Ferrari. Williams show some promise. Renault and Sauber disappointed. At least the new teams didn’t become mobile road-blocks, instead they dutifully broke down before they could be lapped. What a joke. Come back Dave Richards, all is forgiven.

And please for the love of God, someone tell Legard not to keep reading out the top 10 every lap as if it’s supposed to be exciting – particularly when Martin is in the middle of saying something I might actually want to hear. Jonathan: the positions are almost constantly scrolling across the screen. Please go back to radio where your talents will be better appreciated, by insomniacs if no-one else. Dare I say where are you, James Allen?!

Maybe it’s just the track. Significantly hotter than pre-season testing it must have caused problems for the teams. Circuit still looks really dull, a splash of paint in the run-off areas hasn’t helped much, if anything it highlights the blandness of the desert location.

Impressed: Alonso, Hamilton, Rosberg, Barichello
Disappointed: Hulkenberg, Schumacher, Button

Bring on Oz. Maybe a few safety cars will liven things up a bit.

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